“Athletes slump. This is just a fact of athletic endeavors. All the greats go through periods where they don’t perform to their usual standards All of them… Sidney Crosby, Aaron Judge, Lebron James, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Bo Jackson, the Mississippi State Marching Band, the Washington Sentinels, the Gotham Rogues, Andy Roddick, Riddick from RSW, the Texas Rangers… all of them have had down periods in their careers, and all of them had to step up again to reclaim their stature. Except the Rangers, ’cause fuck those guys.”
“It’s important to not get wrapped up in the downswing because it could turn any of the greats into washed-up has-beens and that just isn’t cool – again, unless it’s the Texas Rangers. Prolonged periods of success, while demoralizing as all hell, can’t be allowed to dictate one’s legacy. We just have to stand up, get back on the horse… speaking of, did you see the horse that won the Kentucky Derby? What a fucking story that was, am I right?”
“Sorry… I’m rambling. The point is yes… at present, Gavin Taylor is in the midst of a slump… possibly, one of the most significant slumps of my career. In the past few months, I’ve lost the Supreme Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Championships to a couple of children’s toys or something, lost my tag team partner in a match against my totally-not-sister Ravyn Thompson, lost another opportunity to become United States Champion of the World, and overall just haven’t come up on the winning side of… well… anything. But you know something? This game is 50% physical, 30% preparedness, and 25% mental. You get in a slump and it gets in your head, throwing the other… uh… bunch of percent off. So sometimes the idea of sitting with a psychologist comes in handy. Other times, you have to outsource to your friends, family, well-wishers, or a global music recording artist paid a handsome booking fee, to help you kick out.
“Kind of like having a tag team partner break up a pinfall. I need someone to break up the slump’s pin on me…”
MAY 15, 2022
ST CLAIRE MANAGEMENT AGENCY HEADQUARTERS
TORONTO, ONTARIO
“Randy Newman.”
Gavin Taylor was supremely confident in his response to whatever question it was Ava St. Claire had just asked him from behind her desk. Clad in the brand new “I got hit with the Gavin Taylor Lariat” t-shirt available NOW at ShopSCW.com and some tan shorts, he props his sandal-worn feet up on the corner of her desk. As Ava tries to figure out how Randy Newman works into whatever it was she had just asked Gavin, she leans forward, using a ruler to press the soles of his sandals, nudging his feet off her desk to the floor. Gavin sits up and sits forward.
“Think about it, Ava,” Gavin says as he props forward, his forearms rested on the desk in front of him. “A song to bust the slump written by one of America’s favourite wordsmiths.”
“Randy Newman?” Ava asks, still trying to make sense of everything. Gavin, however, had it all worked out in his head and he confidently nods.
“Randy Newman,” he says without a second thought. For Gavin, it really was simple. Everything he had done to this point amidst his record slump had rendered fruitless. “Think about it… the dude writes probably one of the most iconic pieces of musical media for the Toy Story film and ends up turning that into a franchise-long career opening.”
“Randy Newman?” Ava is still incredulous. After all, of all the names Gavin could throw out there… Randy Newman?
“Randy Newman,” he repeats again, as though the question and answer were one in the same. “The man’s voice can soothe a raging toy freak. I mean, you saw that crane with Barbie legs, right? Totally would have been working the corner if not for the dulcet tones of Randall Newman.”
“Gavin, what are you on right now?” Ava asks entirely in earnest. “You just come in here and the first thing you say is “Randy Newman” and I haven’t the slightest fucking idea of what you even mean right now.”
“What? We talked about this,” Gavin responds with genuine confusion. “You said we needed to find a way to appeal to the youth the way the Farmstead Friends do…”
“I was being facetious,” Ava protests.
“So you say,” Gavin gets wide-eyed, feeding into some potentially conspiratorial mojo. “But then I got to thinking how brilliant it is and now we have to do it! Get my entrance music boys on the line…”
“They broke up a while ago…” Ava again correctly points out. Down With Webster really did go down. Gavin, appears unphased.
“Dangle a bunch of money in front of them and they’ll come,” he insists. “Get a Whoa Is Me Randy Newman remix on the go. This could work… corner the kids market, keep the die-hards happy… win-win, baby! Win-fucking-win!”
Gavin excitedly bounds out of the office. Ava, to her credit, doesn’t burst out laughing, although she doesn’t fully understand what is going on in Gavin’s head. After all…
Randy Newman?
“All athletes suffer slumps. And the greats are always able to come out the other side. I will come out the other side. I will get past… whatever this is and be a better man for it. A better wrestler. A better tag team partner.”
“I just have to…”
"The All-Star" Gavin Taylor 